B
Draft 2 Lab
Childhood Has Changed · Informational Performance Task · Baird 5th Grade
3 minStart

Your scores tell you what to fix

Type your name, then enter the two scores from your draft 1 feedback. The lab builds your to-do list from them (it shows on the right).

Name

Structure score on draft 1

  • Position stated clearly
  • Transitions between ideas
  • Concluding statement
  • Errors do not detract

Ideas score on draft 1

  • All parts of the prompt addressed
  • Well-chosen, accurate evidence that supports the position

Which paragraphs did draft 1 actually have?

Be honest. If a paragraph is missing, writing it is your first job today.

Name and both scores first.
6 minLesson

Two lenses: Structure and Ideas

Your essay got two scores because a grader looks through two different lenses.

Structure — where things go and how they connect

Can a reader find your position right away? Does each paragraph start with a signal that a new idea is coming? Does the ending pull it together? Are the sentences clean enough that nothing gets in the way?

Ideas — what you say and whether the sources back it up

Did you answer every part of the prompt? Is your evidence true to the source, chosen because it answers the prompt, and explained? An essay can be beautifully organized and still have thin or wrong evidence. That's a 4 in Structure and a 2 in Ideas.

The prompt has three parts. One body paragraph for each.
  1. 1 How children's play and friendships have changed
  2. 2 Why those changes matter
  3. 3 What adults, schools, or communities could do to help kids spend more meaningful time together

Evidence from at least three sources, including at least one graph.

Practice

Which lens? Sort the six rubric lines.

Student Sample A

Score this essay through both lenses

A real 5th grader wrote this for the same prompt. Read it, then give it a Structure score and an Ideas score. Commit before you peek.

Structure — your score
Ideas — your score

Structure 4

  • The position is in sentence one and the intro previews all three parts in prompt order, with no evidence in it.
  • Every body paragraph opens with its transition and its promised idea: To begin with… Another thing… Finally…
  • There's a conclusion and the sentences are clean — errors never get in the way.

Ideas 3

  • All three parts are answered and Body 1 explains its evidence well: "This shows that the more time on screens will convert to less time with friends."
  • But quotation marks are put around words the sources never said (highlighted red). "Parents think that organized activities are safer for kids" is close — but not the source's words.
  • One graph fact is backwards (teens spend the most time with friends; theirs is the biggest drop), and the explanations slide into advice: "you should let your child…" That's opinion-writing voice.

The highlights show what you'll learn to fix in the next three stations.

Sort all six lines and reveal the scores.
7 minTutorial 1 · Ideas

Quote or paraphrase? Quotation marks are a promise.

Quotation marks tell the reader: these are the source's exact words. Not close. Not "basically what it said." Exact.

Direct quote

Copy the words exactly, put quotation marks around them, and say where they came from.

Source 1 states, "Families often believe that organized activities are safer and better for kids."

Paraphrase

Say it in your own words, no quotation marks, and still say where it came from.

According to Source 1, many families think organized sports are safer than free play.

Sample A's mistake. The writer put quotation marks around "parents think that organized activities are safer for kids." The source actually says "Families often believe that organized activities are safer and better for kids." Same idea — but with the marks on, it's a quote that was never said. Either copy exactly, or drop the marks and paraphrase.

Why it matters for your score: a grader checks quotes against the source. A fake quote counts as inaccurate evidence — that's the Ideas lens, and it's the difference between a 3 and a 4.

Pattern for a quote sentence: citation + comma + exact words in quotation marks + period inside the marks. → Source 3 explains, "Children play harder outdoors than indoors."

Practice

Exact quote, paraphrase, or fake quote?

Use the Sources tab on the right to check. That's the whole skill: go look.

Tool

Quote Checker

Paste the words you want to quote (no quotation marks needed). The checker tells you whether they appear word-for-word in Source 1, 2, or 3. You'll use this on every quote in your draft.

Type or paste some words.
Finish the practice set.
5 minTutorial 2 · Ideas

Does this evidence answer the prompt?

Evidence can be true, interesting, and from the right source — and still be the wrong evidence. The test is simple: which part of the prompt does it answer? If the answer is "none," it doesn't go in.

  1. 1 How did play and friendships change? (graphs; what kids do now vs. before)
  2. 2 Why does it matter? (effects on kids: health, mood, anxiety, independence)
  3. 3 What could adults, schools, or communities do? (actions)

Two rules for your body paragraphs: each paragraph answers one part, and every piece of evidence in it belongs to that part. Facts from different parts don't connect to each other — a reader feels the paragraph wandering.

Practice

Sort the evidence

Sort all the cards.
3 minTutorial 3 · Structure

Keep yourself out of it

In informational writing, the sources are the star, not you. Leave out I, me, my, you, your, we, us, our. Make the topic the subject of the sentence: kids, children, families, schools, researchers, Source 2, Graph 1.

Why: "I think" and "you should" turn an informational essay into an opinion essay. The grader is checking whether you can explain what the sources show — not what you believe or what the reader should do.

I think kids are on screens more than before.
→
Kids are on screens more than before.
This shows that you should let your child play freely outdoors.
→
This shows that children who play freely outdoors are calmer and happier.
We should do something about it.
→
Families, schools, and communities can give kids safe places to play together.

Two exceptions: a pronoun inside an exact quote stays ("Do you love recess?"). And next week's opinion essay is a different game — I is welcome there.

Practice

Pick the informational version

Finish the practice set.
35 minWrite

Revise and type draft 2

The prompt: ${PROMPT_HTML}

Start with what you already wrote. Paper draft 1 on the left, laptop in front of you. For each paragraph: type in the paragraph you wrote, then use the frames and the checklist under the box to make it better. Keep what worked; fix what your scores and your to-do list point at. The checks turn green when the paragraph is ready.

Order: if a paragraph was missing from draft 1, write that one first. Otherwise go top to bottom. Frames: click Insert to drop a frame into your box at the cursor, then replace the blanks.

Introduction Structure
How this paragraph answers the prompt: the introduction tells the reader your position and previews all three parts — 1 how play and friendships changed, 2 why it matters, 3 what adults, schools, or communities could do — in that order. No evidence yet.
Start with the introduction you already wrote. Type it in, then use the frames and the checklist to improve it.

Three jobs: a hook or context, your position (what you'll explain), and a preview of all three parts in prompt order. No evidence here — no numbers, no quotes, no "according to." Save it for the bodies.

Frames — click Insert, then fill the blanks
Children's play and friendships have changed ___ over the past few decades.
First, kids ___. Second, these changes matter because ___. Finally, adults, schools, and communities could ___.
Although kids still want to play with friends in person, ___.
    Body 1 1 How play and friendships changed Ideas
    How this paragraph answers the prompt: 1 "explain how children's play and friendships have changed." Every piece of evidence here should show a change — what kids do now compared with before. The graphs belong in this paragraph.
    Start with the body paragraph you already wrote for this part. Type it in, then use the frames and the checklist to improve it.

    Transition + topic sentence → two pieces of evidence (at least one exact quote, checked) → This shows… sentence that answers Part 1. "Graph 1 shows…" with the numbers.

    Frames — click Insert, then fill the blanks
    To begin with, kids' play and friendships have changed because ___.
    According to Graph 1, in ___ about ___ of ___, but by ___ it was ___.
    Graph 2 shows that ___ went from about ___ minutes a day to about ___.
    Source 1 states, "___."
    This shows that as ___ went up, ___ went down.
      Body 2 2 Why those changes matter Ideas
      How this paragraph answers the prompt: 2 "why those changes matter." Every piece of evidence here should show an effect on kids — anxiety, sadness, independence, health, mood, focus. No advice yet; "what to do" is Body 3.
      Start with the body paragraph you already wrote for this part. Type it in, then use the frames and the checklist to improve it.

      Same shape: transition + topic sentence → two pieces of evidence (one exact quote, checked) → This shows… sentence that says why it matters.

      Frames — click Insert, then fill the blanks
      Another thing, these changes matter because ___.
      Source 1 explains, "___."
      Source 3 adds that when children spend time outside, "___."
      This shows that when kids lose ___, their ___ suffers.
        Body 3 3 What adults, schools, or communities could do Ideas
        How this paragraph answers the prompt: 3 "what adults, schools, or communities could do to help children spend more meaningful time together." Every piece of evidence here should be an action someone can take, and the paragraph should name who takes it — schools, families, communities — not "you."
        Start with the body paragraph you already wrote for this part. Type it in, then use the frames and the checklist to improve it.

        Actions in the sources: cooler playgrounds (Source 2), outdoor playdates and parks (Source 3), bringing back neighborhoods that support free play (Source 1).

        Frames — click Insert, then fill the blanks
        Finally, there are many things adults, schools, and communities could do.
        Source 2 explains that schools are replacing "___" with "___."
        Source 3 suggests that families "___."
        Source 1 says the problem is bigger than parents: "___," so communities could ___.
        All of this shows that if ___, kids will ___.
          Conclusion Structure
          How this paragraph answers the prompt: the conclusion sums up all three parts — 1 what changed, 2 why it matters, 3 who could do what — using the reasons you proved, in new words. No new evidence.
          Start with the conclusion you already wrote. Type it in, then use the frames and the checklist to improve it.

          Restate your position in new words, sum up all three parts, and end with one sentence that answers "so what?" Not a copy of the intro.

          Frames — click Insert, then fill the blanks
          All in all, children's play and friendships have changed ___: ___.
          These changes matter because ___.
          If families, schools, and communities ___, then children can ___.
            All five paragraphs need green checks (or ask your teacher).
            8 minPartner check

            Trade laptops

            Read your partner's essay below. Answer honestly — a "no" is a gift, because there's still time to fix it. Then put your initials.

            Partner's initials:

            Answer all six and initial.
            5 minFinish

            Re-score yourself, then send it

            Fix anything your partner marked "no." Then score draft 2 through both lenses, next to your draft 1 scores.

            Structure  draft 1: – → draft 2:

            Ideas  draft 1: – → draft 2:

            Send to Teams

            1. Click Copy for Teams.
            2. Open the Word Online doc in your Teams assignment.
            3. Click in the doc and paste (Ctrl + V). Paragraphs and indents come with it.
            4. Check the title line has your name, then Turn in.

            Your draft 2